Grocery Shopping : A Deadly Task?
by Nari Crow
Summary: Organization XIII needs to go shopping every once in a while, too. But what happens when you put thirteen dangerous people into a public setting? Not properly edited. You are warned.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Just a two-shot I thought up in my spare time. I should have the second part up in about a week. Until then, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts I, CoM, or II in any way, shape or form. I also do not own any of the real-world references I make.

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Axel woke up with a groan to another dreary day in the Castle That Never Was. Today was Tuesday, which meant only one thing. . . .

"Axel!" Sure enough, there came the shout. Axel grumbled and threw his covers over his body, hiding in his bed for as long as possible.

"Axel!" The voice was becoming impossible to ignore. Axel's door opened, despite the fact that it was locked; but then, the person at the door had a way with opening keyholes.

"Get up, sleepyhead!" Roxas said, continuing to pester the redhead. Axel made a noncommittal noise and held the covers close to his body.

"Come on, today's Tuesday," Roxas protested.

Axel blinked in the bright light. Roxas had succeeded in getting the covers away from Axel's death grip. "I know it's Tuesday," he muttered, squinting up at the cheerful Nobody in front of him. "Like you'd let me forget yesterday."

Roxas was particularly excited. "Today we're going to the city, we're going to the city," he chanted in a sing-song voice. "C'mon, get up!"

Axel groaned again and rolled over. "You're talking to the wrong guy," he said into his pillow. "Go get Demyx to go with you."

Roxas frowned. "Demyx is waking up Zexion," he replied. "It's my job to get your lazy ass out of bed." He poked Axel's foot, which was sticking out of the covers. Axel pulled his foot back with a squeal. Roxas' hands were cold!

"If I tell you I'm coming," Axel said slowly, "will you go away?"

Roxas beamed. "Only if you're telling the truth," he said. "And I can tell," he added, narrowing his eyes at Axel.

Axel sighed and rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine," he said. "I'm coming!" He rolled out of bed and hit the floor with a dull thump. He blinked for a moment, not reacting, before he began to get up.

Roxas grinned and walked out of Axel's room, bidding him a cheerful goodbye. Axel grumbled incoherently to himself and stood up, dusting off his shirt. He looked around at his room, which was surprisingly clean, especially compared to how it usually looked: messy and covered in stuff. The scorch marks were still on his wall, but all in all, Axel was proud of his newly cleaned room.

"It'll be dirty by this afternoon," Axel said to himself. Half-grinning, he collected his things to take a shower.

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Axel finally found his way to the breakfast table, and found a handful of Organization members there as well. They all seemed as tired as he felt.

"What time is it?" he asked Zexion as he sat down, reaching for the cereal.

Zexion stirred and took his head off of his hand. "Hmm?" he murmured sleepily. His eyes weren't even open.

"I said, what time is it?"

Zexion made a tired noise and pried his eyes open long enough to pull back his cloak sleeve and check his watch. "Oh my God, it's 6:43," he moaned, letting his eyes close again.

Axel's eyes widened. "What are those bozos thinking?" he muttered, pouring milk into his cereal, almost missing and hitting the table.

"They make me feel old," Xigbar grumbled from across the table.

"You already are old," Larxene commented from Axel's left, a few seats down from Zexion.

Xigbar looked as if he was considering attacking Larxene, but then he decided it was too much energy.

Suddenly, Axel started laughing. Zexion, Xigbar, Xaldin, and Vexen stared at him oddly. "I was just thinking of what might happen when those two try to wake up Saix or Xemnas," Axel said, chuckling.

Xigbar started to chuckle as well. Larxene said, "I shocked Demyx when he tried to come into my room, so he just pounded on the door until I told him to go away. Then I threw some kunai at him. I wonder if any hit him," she mused.

Demyx appeared at the doorway, nursing his left arm. "Marluxia tried to cut off my head," he complained, making his way over to the table.

Zexion blocked Demyx when he tried to sit next to him. "You turned on my lights and almost blinded me," he reminded the cheerful musician in a sleepy monotone, his eyes still shut. "I don't think so."

"How'd you even know I was there when your eyes were closed?" Demyx wanted to know.

"Magic," Zexion replied sarcastically.

Demyx sighed and walked over to sit in a seat a few chairs away from Axel. Axel rubbed his eyes blearily, fighting sleep. Zexion had already lost the battle, and was snoring gently into his dry cereal.

"I guess it's a good thing he didn't put milk in it," Axel commented, spooning up his own cereal.

Another Organization member straggled in, rubbing the back of his head and wincing. "That was my head," Luxord said to no one in particular.

"What'd they do to you?" Vexen asked curiously. He had already finished eating, as he got up even earlier than Demyx and Roxas as a habit, to avoid such situations and to get more lab work done. He had been up since 4 a.m.

"Roxas hit me with his Keyblade," Luxord complained, sitting next to Demyx. "Then he made it unbearably bright, honestly. . . ."

Lexaeus came in next, looking fresh and awake. "Unhh?" Zexion said questioningly, his visible eye just barely open.

"I get up early on Tuesdays, remember?" Lexaeus reminded his friend. "Ever since that one day."

Zexion nodded. Axel looked at Zexion curiously. "What one day?" he asked.

"Demyx tried to wake up Lexaeus and nearly got impaled on his tomahawk," Zexion muttered into his arms, where his face was nestled. "To cut down on any casualties, Lexaeus decided to get up early and work out before taking his shower on Tuesdays. Needless to say, he doesn't like being woken."

Axel nodded, and his nod became a sleepy one. Pushing his cereal aside, he buried his head in his arms and fell asleep.

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Zexion heard a scuffling noise at the doorway. Irritated by the numerous interruptions, he pried his eyes open and told them to stay open. On a hunch, he got up and poured some coffee from the pot, a new blend that Vexen had made that morning. Sipping some, his eyes opened wide. So much caffeine!

He eyed the newcomer, who was making his way to the seat next to Larxene. Marluxia's hair was mussed slightly, and his face was set in a scowl. He glared across the table at Demyx.

"Shut up," he growled before Demyx could say anything.

"Aw, leave the boy alone," Xigbar drawled.

Marluxia moved his glare to Xigbar. "He stepped on my Amaryllises," Marluxia said through clenched teeth.

Before Xigbar could find a witty comeback to that statement, Saix and Xemnas walked in, trailed by a sheepish, blushing Roxas. Xemnas looked mildly disgruntled, while Saix was as impassive as ever, except for a light pink tint on his cheeks.

Roxas meekly crept over to the chair next to the sleeping Axel, slipping into the seat. Xemnas sat down next to Xigbar, and Saix next to Xemnas. Wordlessly, Saix began to eat. Xemnas refrained from food, instead eyeing the assembled Organization.

"Were you all awakened by this Keyblade runt?" he growled, in no mood for games.

"All except for Lexaeus and I," Vexen replied, folding his hands on the tabletop. "Will we be leaving soon?"

"As soon as everyone wakes up," Xemnas said, looking at Axel, who was still asleep, and Luxord, who had fallen asleep in his toast, and Xaldin, who was nodding off.

Roxas, who had recovered remarkably fast, playfully punched Axel in the shoulder. Axel flew into wakefulness, sputtering as he woke up. He glared at his friend.

"What was that for?" he whined, his words barely understandable as he slurred them together.

Xigbar poked Xaldin until he opened his eyes, and Demyx started whispering in Luxord's ear until he stirred and swatted irritably at the annoying fly buzzing in his ear.

"Let's go, let's go," Roxas insisted.

Xemnas sighed. "Is everyone ready to go?" he asked wearily. There were nods all around, some more eager than others.

Slowly, ponderously, the Organization stood up and began making their way to the Gummi ship. Zexion, more awake now that he'd had his coffee, lingered to make sure that the sleepy ones got up. He was halfway through the hall when he remembered he had left his notebook in the kitchen.

Quietly, he doubled back to pick up his notebook. He paused at the edge of the kitchen, and peered around. He froze, pulling back so that the two Nobodies in the kitchen wouldn't notice him.

It was Xemnas and Saix, wrapped in one another's arms. Zexion stepped back further, and turned around, his stomach twisted in knots. If they caught him. . . .

Finally, he was far enough away to feel safe. Sighing in relief, Zexion realized why Roxas had looked so sheepish. He wondered what Roxas had seen, and then shuddered, figuring it was better he didn't know.

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Zexion walked into the Gummi ship, grabbing one of the last seats, one that Vexen had saved for him. He looked around, now that he was fully awake, and noticed that the mood of the group had shifted subtly. Demyx and Roxas were still just as excited as before, but the others were starting to look forward to it as well.

Really, everyone liked going to the city, except for those that got stuck with grocery shopping. It was the two that woke them up so early in the morning that they hated.

Xemnas came into the Gummi ship, taking his spot at the pilot seat. Xigbar was in the copilot seat, lounging with his feet on the dashboard.

Saix came in, taking the last seat, which was next to Roxas. Roxas gulped and edged closer to Axel, eyeing the expressionless Nobody.

Xemnas started the engine, and Xigbar turned around to look at the rest of the Organization. "Everyone ready?" he cackled. "Seatbelts on, munny in pockets?"

Everyone nodded, and Xemnas throttled the engine, sending the Gummi shooting into space.

Five minutes later, Zexion found himself rather bored. It only took ten minutes to get there, but it seemed like forever with his companions. He leaned forward to talk with Xigbar.

"Xigbar, who's on grocery duty?" he asked.

Xigbar grinned at Zexion through the mirror. "You, Vexen, and Lexaeus," he said.

Zexion groaned. "Just our luck," he drawled, leaning back. "Do you have the list?"

"Lists," Xigbar corrected him, pulling a sheaf of papers out of his cloak. He handed them to Zexion. "Here you go. Have fun!"

Zexion curled his lip at Xigbar and turned to Vexen and Lexaeus. "Lucky us," he sighed. Vexen narrowed his eyes in dislike of the task.

"I'll come with you, though," Xigbar added.

Lexaeus raised his eyebrows. "Why is that?" he asked.

"Because I don't want to baby-sit this time around," Xigbar replied, glancing towards Axel and Roxas, who were arguing over where they would go first, and Demyx, who was trying to mold some water in front of him into his own face. "Those three are worse than any Keyblade Master," he said, his face bleak.

Zexion chuckled. "Very well, then. And everyone else?"

Xigbar tilted his head, thinking. "Well, Xaldin and Luxord are going to some sort of gambling place, where Xaldin plans to get drunk and Luxord plans to get rich. I told them we're only staying three hours, tops, and they said they'd have plenty of time. Saix and Xemnas have to deal with the village idiot – I mean leader, something about Dusks carrying off their children.

"Let's see. . . . Marluxia and Larxene said they're going to meet up with some of the villagers they know, and Demyx, Axel, and Roxas have no idea where they're going."

Zexion smirked. "Sounds like everyone's busy, huh?"

Suddenly, Xemnas announced, "We're here, everyone get out before I kill you."

This, of course, caused a jam in the door as everyone except Saix rushed to leave the Gummi ship. There were several cries and sharp comments. "Ow, that was my eye!" "Watch where you stick that, Xaldin!" "Well, Larxene, this is sudden. _-slap-_ Ow!"

Finally, Zexion, Lexaeus, Vexen, and Xigbar disentangled themselves from the door. "Let's go," Vexen grumbled, straightening his uniform. "The sooner we get finished, the sooner we can see if the science outpost has those new DNA scanners."

Xigbar shook his head, and the four Nobodies walked to the grocery store, ignoring the chaos unfolding behind them. As they walked into the store, the manager looked up at them from his register and did a double take.

The Nobodies didn't notice him, and Zexion pulled out the lists. "Okay, why does this one say we need twelve boxes of Lucky Charms cereal and seven giant Pixie Stix?" he sighed as he read the first item on the first list.

Xigbar peered over at the paper. "Oh, that's Demyx's, sorry," he said, taking the paper and throwing it carelessly over his shoulder. "You can disregard that."

"Excuse me," the manager said coldly, choosing that moment to walk up to them. "The last time you were here, you caused considerable damage and were banned from this store."

Xigbar blinked. "Really? You were being serious?" His flippant attitude further angered the man, who turned an interesting plum shade.

"Yes, I was serious!" the man spluttered. "Now leave! Before I call the cops."

The Nobodies looked at one another, and shrugged. "Nah, I think we'll pass," Xigbar said. "Now, I'll take these two lists, Vexen will take these two, Lexaeus these two, and Zexion gets the last three."

"Why do I get three?" Zexion complained, scanning his lists. "Okay, two of them are pretty short. I guess not everyone needed something."

The Nobodies then proceeded to completely ignore the manager. Lexaeus wandered towards the breads, his eyes glued to his lists. Vexen was reading the back of a package of chips, wrinkling his nose at the ingredients. Zexion was piling cereals into a cart, and Xigbar was loading a basket with meat.

"Hi, Zexion," a girl said cheerfully as she walked up to him. A basket was dangling from her arm, half-filled with granola bars, cereal, and a carton of milk. "I thought you lot were banned from this store."

"Oh, hi, Suzume," Zexion murmured, looking up from the eggs he was holding. "Yeah, we were."

Suzume smirked. "Manager turn purple?"

"Plum, actually," Zexion replied. Suzume laughed.

"I'll see you at the tavern, ne?" she asked, turning to leave. "All of you, in say an hour and a half?"

He nodded. "I'll try to herd them all together," he said.

Suzume smiled and shook her head. "Good luck with that," she said. "See you soon," she called over her shoulder.

Zexion gave the eggs a small smile as he put them in his cart. Suzume lived on the edge of the village, and was often the one who delivered pizza to the Castle That Never Was. She was one of the few villagers that owned a Gummi Ship, and she'd put a great deal of effort into making it speedy. It could go between their worlds in half the time it took the Organization. She and the Organization were good friends; even Xemnas, who stubbornly insisted they could not feel, was fond of the fifteen-year-old. When they were in town, she served as a guide/babysitter for the younger, more volatile members of the Organization.

A disturbance at the check-out line drew Zexion's attention. Finished with his list, Zexion pushed his cart to the front of the store, where Xigbar was arguing with the manager. "All we want to do is pay for these frickin' groceries and leave," Xigbar growled.

"You cannot have those foodstuffs!" the manager trilled, his face quickly approaching magenta.

Lexaeus walked up behind Xigbar, his eyes hooded and dark. The managed blanched, seeing the tall, imposing Nobody. "We did not cause a fuss this time," Lexaeus rumbled. "Give us the total and we will pay you."

The manager stammered nonsensically. Vexen walked up next to Zexion, his basket overflowing with things. "Are we checking out?" Vexen asked, anxious to get to the science outpost.

Xigbar glared meaningfully at the manager. "Yes."

The manager finally rung all their purchases, and Xigbar handed over the munny. As they left, they were in a heated conversation.

"No, you can_not _blow this place up," Vexen told Xigbar in an intense whisper.

"For one thing, there are people in here," Zexion added.

"But if they were, say, scared out . . .," Xigbar suggested.

"We wouldn't be allowed back in the village," Lexaeus pointed out.

"Just wait a while," Zexion insisted. "He'll get what's coming to him."

"What's coming to him?" Xigbar asked, hopeful.

"Whatever it is, I'm sure he'll deserve it," Zexion said, grimly satisfied.

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The four made their way to the town square after putting all the groceries in the Gummi Ship, where they would be kept refrigerated. There they found Demyx, Roxas, and Axel, discussing what to do next.

"We went to the ice cream shop," Axel explained. "But they kicked us out."

"Why?" Zexion asked.

Axel looked pointedly at Roxas, who was glaring at the fountain of the town square with an angry, set expression. "There wasn't any sea salt ice cream," he whispered. "Rox here lost it a little."

"Oh!" Zexion said, suddenly remembering something. "Suzume said she'd meet us at the tavern in about an hour and a half."

Axel looked up, suddenly interested. "Is she, now?" he said, grinning slyly.

"Don't act like an idiot like last time," Vexen said, irritated. "She'll pour a glass of soda on your head, like last time."

Axel shrugged. "She's starting to grow on me," he insisted, smirking.

Vexen rolled his eyes. "I don't have time for this," he said, grabbing Lexaeus by the arm. "Let's go. Zexion, are you coming?"

Zexion shook his head. "I'll stay here and try to stop these three from completely destroying the town."

Vexen shrugged. "Your decision." He and Lexaeus left through a portal.

Xigbar raised his eyebrows. "Good idea," he remarked. "I'm going to join Xaldin and Luxord, 'kay?" Without waiting for a reply, he left.

"We have an hour until we have to meet Suzume in the tavern," Roxas said, checking his watch. "So, what do we do?"

"Let's go to the music shop," Demyx suggested happily.

"Why?" Zexion asked blankly.

"Because," Demyx replied stubbornly. "Let's go."

Sighing, the others consented, and they schlepped to the music shop.

"Demyx!" the teenager at the counter cried. "What is up, man?"

"Hey, Zack!" Demyx replied enthusiastically. "What've you got for me."

"Oh man, you came at, like, the best time," the boy said in a surfer's accent. "We just got some totally sweet guitars and picks in. Come check 'um out, dude!"

Demyx ran over and began discussing music with Zack. Axel tapped Zexion's shoulder. "Me and Roxas are gonna go over to the game store," he said. "Meet us there when Demyx is done."

Zexion turned around to say something, but the two were already gone, zipping out the door. "Don't kill anyone," he said, mostly to himself.

Demyx walked up to Zexion five minutes later, his arms laden with musical merchandise. "Where are Axel and Roxas?" he asked.

"Game store," Zexion replied, wincing as he heard an explosion. "What now?" he complained, half-running out of the door. Demyx followed, putting all of his newly bought things into a bag.

"Get out of my store," a woman shouted, pushing Axel with a broom. "Stay away!" she warned, slamming the door shut.

Zexion blinked. "That wasn't the game store," he said to Axel as he came walking up, wincing and rubbing the back of his head.

"No," he said, glaring at the door of the lady's shop. "That's the soapy, fru-fru store. I crashed into it when I blew a hole in the game store."

"And why, pray tell, did you do that?" Zexion asked, dreading the answer. Meanwhile, Roxas was walking out of the game store, looking sheepish. A trail of curses and shouting scolds was cut off as the door shut.

"The prices were just ridiculous," Axel replied promptly. "And the clerk refused to bargain. I got a little angry."

Zexion buried his face in his hands. "Why am I surrounded by idiots?" he moaned to himself.

"Because you're so smart that pretty much everyone around you is an idiot," a girl's voice said. He looked up to see Suzume, a smile on her face as she surveyed the destruction. "Except Vexen, Lexaeus, and Xaldin," she added. "They're pretty smart."

Axel sidled up next to Suzume. "Hi, Suzume," he said casually.

"Get away from me before I set you on fire," she said indifferently.

"I wouldn't mind that," he said, not to be deterred. An odd grin was on his face.

"Zexion, do you want to go to the bookstore?" she said, ignoring Axel. "The new Harry Potter book came out while you were gone."

Zexion gasped. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" he demanded, his eyes bulging.

"Me, too!" Roxas said, picking up on the conversation.

Suzume frowned slightly. "I didn't know you read Harry Potter," she said to Roxas.

"I do," he said fervently.

"Then why are we still standing here?" Zexion said agitatedly, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "Let's GO."

Axel and Demyx gave each other 'no idea what they're talking about' looks.

"Come on," Roxas said loudly, half-dragging Axel down the street. Zexion did the same with Demyx, and Suzume followed behind them with an amused look in her eyes.

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Almost an hour later, Suzume had made the necessary calls and everyone was on their way to the local tavern. Zexion and Roxas had both bought a copy of the new Harry Potter, and were engrossed in the pages. Zexion was already halfway through, and Roxas was only a little bit behind.

"Let's go," Suzume insisted, tugging on Roxas' sleeve. "We're going to be late."

He muttered something indiscriminate and turned a page. Suzume sighed. "Demyx, can you manage to get Zexion to come?"

"I can walk and read at the same time," Zexion murmured, his eyes never leaving the book.

"Me, too," Roxas said, although it wasn't something he usually did. Zexion, on the other hand, had plenty of practice.

Slowly, carefully, they made their way to the tavern. Axel had to stop Roxas three times before he ran into a light pole, but Zexion successfully navigated the streets and people with ease.

Finally, they were standing outside of the tavern. Suzume heard voices inside, and grinned. She recognized Xaldin's rough voice, and Luxord's accent. She also heard Marluxia and Larxene arguing. "After you, milady," Axel said, mock-bowing. Shaking her head, Suzume opened the door and led them into the tavern.

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The second part will be what happens in the tavern. I don't have anything definite, but it's sure to be – interesting. -grins-


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: By the way, this is after everybody died. Don't ask me how they all came back, but that's why they're "normal." It is somewhat explained, but not the main point of this story. That might be an idea for another fic. Hmm. . . .

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that is copyrighted in this fic. I do not own Kingdom Hearst I, CoM, or II in any way, shape or form.

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The dimly lit tavern was bustling with activity. The Organization had reserved half of the tavern, and all the members were spread out over four or five tables. It was obvious that Xigbar, Xaldin, and Luxord had already been drinking, because they were noisily playing Gin Rimming.

Suzume was greeted with many cries of welcome. "Suzume," Xigbar slurred. "You wanna come play some G – Gin Rimmmingg?" He hiccupped.

Suzume laughed and shook her head, putting her hands up in denial. Zexion and Roxas found their way to a table and sat down.

Marluxia peered over Roxas' shoulder. "What's that?" he asked.

"Harry Potter," Roxas said intensely, looking angry at the interruption.

"It came out?!" Marluxia stood up. "I'll be right back."

"Hey," Larxene interrupted. She threw some munny at him. "Get me one, too." He nodded and disappeared.

Vexen and Lexaeus were pouring over the new DNA scanner they had bought from the science outpost. On the other end of the table, Xemnas and Saix were talking quietly. The only two who would find that suspicious were currently gasping over the latest Harry Potter related revelation.

Suzume sat down next to Xaldin, and Axel and Demyx joined her. "Ah, what the heck, I'll play next round," she said.

"Prepare to be defeated, love," Luxord said with a devilish grin.

After they finished up the round, Suzume and Axel joined, while Demyx watched. He wasn't good at card games, because he could never make sense of the rules.

About halfway through the game, Marluxia came back with two copies of Harry Potter. He threw one at Larxene without looking. She caught it, but it almost hit her head. "Hey!" she shouted angrily, throwing some kunai his way.

Marluxia, of course, was used to such reactions, and ducked. The kunai hit the man behind him, who was, by a matter of extreme unfortunate circumstances, the manager of the store. He swore and turned around, seeing the Organization.

"You!" he seethed.

"Yes, it is us," Xigbar said, but after five beers it sounded like: "Yesh, itsh isht ush."

"That's the last straw!" the manager shouted. His face had bypassed plum and was now a magnificent shade of royal purple.

Suzume stood up, almost lazily. "Hey, Jack," she called to the bartender. He looked up from polishing a glass, blinking clear gray eyes.

"Hey what?" he said back.

"This man is bothering your best customers," she said, pointing a finger at the manager.

"Oh yeah?" He raised a brow. "Which best customers?"

"The ones that are buying a round for everyone in the room!" Xaldin roared suddenly. The crowd cheered. "Except – that guy!" He pointed to the space just to the left of the manager, and then squinted. "And his two twin brothers," he added blearily.

Jack grinned. "Felix, Sully," he said to the two burly bouncers who were quietly drinking at the bar. "You wanna remove this irritating thorn in my side?"

Sully stretched his back out. "For you, Jack? Sure thing." He cracked his knuckles, as his buddy joined him.

"You'll regret this!" the manager screamed as he ran out the door. "Mark my words!"

Jack shook his head. "I hate that guy," he said to no one in particular.

"Well, now that that's over," Vexen remarked. "Zexion, come look at this."

Zexion mumbled something that sounded like, "In a minute." He had two chapters left in the book, and had only been reading it for around an hour.

Five minutes later, Luxord was collecting his winnings from Suzume, Xigbar, Xaldin, and Axel. "I swear, you cheat," Suzume said exasperatedly, pushing some munny to him.

"You look beautiful in this light," Axel told her, attempting a soulful look.

"And you look like an anorexic woman," Suzume said without missing a beat.

"Now, that wasn't very nice," Axel replied, grinning. Suzume turned to look at him.

"It wasn't nice to kill, what, three or four of your fellows?" she shot back.

He chuckled. "Vexen and Zexion, only two."

Zexion looked up from his book and frowned. "I remember that," he said. "That wasn't cool."

Suzume crossed her arms. "So why should I be nice to you after you did that?" she asked.

"Because everyone's alive now," Axel replied, shrugging. "Did anyone ever figure out how that happened?"

"Do I need to explain it to you again?" Vexen said, exasperated. "I went into it in great detail at least twice."

"No, that's okay," Axel said hastily. "I swear, I understood it."

"He had no idea, did he?" Suzume dead-panned.

"Nope," Xaldin said, dealing out the cards. "Then again, I think only Xemnas, Vexen, Lexaeus, and Zexion understood it at all."

"I understand the concept," Xigbar interjected, but it was hard to take the former scientist seriously when he was barely able to make himself understood.

"From what I managed to understand from Vexen's admittedly garbled jargon of an explanation," Luxord began, "we were brought back by the sheer force of our will."

"There were other factors," Vexen called irritably.

"Willpower?" Suzume blinked. "Really?"

"Well, apparently Kingdom Hearts played a role," Luxord continued, glaring at Vexen. "And some other things, which are very complicated."

"I think it was the fact that so many people love to hate us," Axel commented. "They just needed someone to hate, and we filled the role nicely."

"You see," Vexen said, deciding to come over and explain to Suzume, "since the reason we became Nobodies through our willpower, it seemed the logical answer. After all, weak-willed humans don't form Nobodies, or they become Dusks. We were the only ones to have retained a form similar to our original forms. So, when we dissolved into nothingness, the willpower that made us retain our forms reasserted itself and brought us back into being. We just want to be alive enough to actually be alive."

"So – you're still Nobodies?" Suzume said. Vexen nodded. "Bullshit," she said flatly. "At least, about not feeling. If you can't feel, then why is Axel here trying to hook up with me?" She jerked her head in his direction.

Vexen launched into a complex answer, which basically meant that they weren't real feelings, just illusions of feelings.

Zexion closed his book and announced, "Finished!" Then he walked over and said, "I know illusions. Nothing we have is an illusion."

He and Vexen became engrossed in a philosophical discussion about what a heart really was, and if being a Nobody meant you couldn't feel. Lexaeus joined them, as well as Xemnas and Saix.

Jack the bartender came over, asking Xemnas for the munny for all the drinks he had just served. Xemnas handed it over absently, still talking to Vexen.

Suzume shook her head. "They get so worked up about this stuff," she commented.

"It's their life," Axel said simply.

"No!" The cry of rage turned their heads. Xigbar was standing, his hands on the table. "That was cheating!" He pointed a wobbling finger at Luxord. "You will – pay for that!" He summoned his weapons, causing screams amongst the other townspeople.

"Oh, God, not again," Suzume muttered, rolling her eyes. "Hey, Sam," she said, grabbing Jack's boyfriend by the arm and dragging him over. The slim, wiry man raised one eyebrow, his green eyes narrow.

"What do you want?" he asked in his cool, quiet voice.

"Can you calm down Xigbar?" she asked. Sam looked at Xigbar, who had already shot three holes in the ceiling. "I don't want this place to collapse."

Sam paused, considering. "Jack would probably be angry," he admitted. "All right."

Axel looked at the man as he meandered over to Xigbar. "How's he going to help?" Axel asked. Demyx was backing away from Xigbar, as Xaldin shouted drunken encouragement. Marluxia and Larxene were completely ignoring everyone, and had joined Roxas' table to read Harry Potter.

"He's good at calming people," Suzume replied. "Just watch."

Sam had reached Xigbar, and put a hand on his shoulder, speaking quietly. Xigbar started, staring at him. Sam continued to soothe him, pushing him gently into his seat. Xigbar replied, as quiet as Sam, which was odd. Sam shook his head at something Xigbar said, and Xigbar let his weapons disappear. Sam turned to Luxord and said something.

Sam came over to Axel and Suzume, weaving through the tables with swaying ease. "How'd he do that?" Axel said, awed.

"Practice," Sam said as he reached them. "Jack gets a lot of rough customers."

Suzume grinned. "Thanks, Sam," she said, flipping a coin his way.

He caught it, and it disappeared in his pocket. "Welcome," he said, raising one hand as he walked towards Jack.

Demyx had fled outside to escape Xigbar's drunken rage, but now he came back. "Um, Xemnas?" he said timidly, heading for their leader.

Xemnas glared. "What is it, Number Nine?" he demanded.

"Well, there's an angry lynch mob outside crying out for our blood," Demyx stated. "Just thought you'd want to know."

"Lynch mob?" Zexion repeated. "Well, that's bad."

"And we'll take that as our cue to leave," Vexen said, standing up. "I do believe we've outstayed our welcome for this week, hmm?"

Lexaeus rumbled agreement, and Zexion walked over to the Harry Potter table. He rapped on the wood briskly. "Leaving," he said.

The three Harry Potter readers stood up simultaneously, slowly pushing their chairs in.

"Left," Zexion said in a bored tone. "Other left," he added as Roxas collided with a table.

"Get out of our town!" cried a torch-wielding mother. "Go away, you child kidnappers!"

"We never kidnapped any children," Axel said confusedly.

"Hi, Mom," Suzume said wearily.

"I stand corrected," Axel said, astonished. "I didn't know your mom hated us, Suzume."

"That's one of the few sentences you've said that hasn't been suggestive," Suzume sighed. "I enjoy these rare moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by."

"I told you you'd rue this day," the manager shouted from the head of the mob, brandishing a pitchfork.

"Where'd you get the pitchfork?" Demyx inquired. The manager spluttered.

"That's none of your business!"

Xemnas did a quick head count. "Where's Xigbar?" he asked.

"I'm right here," Xigbar slurred, stumbling out of the tavern. "Lesh go."

"We'll be back in a week, okay?" Axel said to Suzume. "Don't miss me too much."

"As if I would," she retorted. "Maybe I should come with you guys." She glared meaningfully at her mother.

"Are you insinuating that you want to go out with me?" Axel asked.

"Do you know what the word insinuate means?" she said in the same tone. Then she laughed. "See you all next week."

"Bye, Sue," Roxas said from his book.

"No! Don't die!" Marluxia screamed to his book. "No!"

Axel laughed.

"Aren't you the least bit intimidated?" someone asked from the back of the mob.

"Not really," Lexaeus said matter-of-factly. "You do this every week."

The angry mutterings paused. "You know, he's right," someone said.

"Yeah, you always stand right next to me."

"And you always have that beautiful tie on."

"Why thank you!"

The crowd slowly dispersed, conversing enthusiastically. "Same time next week," one called to the Organization.

"This has got to be the weirdest town," Suzume declared, shaking her head.

"It has to be, being so close to us," Larxene said, smirking from her book.

"This can't be!" the manager screamed, brandishing his pitchfork. "Never come back!"

The Organization began walking to their Gummi Ship, and Suzume walked with them. They had to put up with the manager and a handful of other dedicated mobsters the whole way, shouting.

"Why don't they actually do anything?" Demyx asked.

"They're scared, right?" Larxene said with a laugh. "We would kill them if they attacked."

The Organization piled onto the Gummi Ship. "See you next week!" Suzume called to all of them. "Bye, Xemnas! Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen! Lexaeus, Zexion, Saix, Axel, Demyx, Luxord, Marluxia, Larxene, Roxas! Ja ne!"

"Stop speaking Japanese, honey," her mother said sternly, who had stayed with them the whole time. "And stop hanging around these hooligans, honestly."

"We'll call for pizza," Axel called from the Gummi Ship. "See you soon!"

"Stop flirting!" Suzume shouted as they took off into the air. Axel replied, but she couldn't make it out.

"Finally, we made it out without any major mishaps," Xemnas said, maneuvering the ship. He glanced at Xaldin, Xigbar, and Luxord, who were in a drunken stupor, and the Harry Potter readers. "Not even any big explosions."

"Explosions?" Axel repeated, suddenly nervous.

"Axel," Xemnas said sternly. "What did you do?"

"I might've left something," he said sheepishly.

There was a small boom from the town, which was already a small dot below them. Xemnas shook his head. "I don't even want to know," he said, taking them towards the World That Never Was.

So much for leaving without an explosion.

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Well? Thoughts, you all? I'll probably redo the whole thing eventually, and it'll be much better, but I just wanted to get it all out there.


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